It feels so awkward…I feel so awkward. Really it does
feel like that because I am an intern who doesn´t know how to move herself
inside the offices. And it´s not like I haven´t been welcomed because I have,
but still I can´t feel comfortable, even after a few days now. This are the
times when I curse my social anxiety for making me conscious of everything that
people can see and think about me. I can not move or speak without thinking
that people are talking something about me or thinking all this nasty stuff. I
really can´t do anything before I remind myself like a hundred times that it´s
all in my head, even though 99.9% of the time it doesn´t works. This is killing
me, destroying my life by suctioning every single particle of happiness from
me. The worst thing is that I was really excited about this internship and I
really wanted to be successful at it. But instead I am feeling like a total
failure that got this job through connections, not because of my work.
Sometimes I am just so stupid.
(Sigh) I just had a really bad day and I´m sorry for
ranting it to you guys, but thank you for reading and supporting me.
Remember to always love yourself first! <3
