I don't know how to feel

I don't know how to feel.

Maybe i feel like his because I identify myself with the situation, I've been there, done that. Or maybe it's because I'm angry with society and the misconception with mental health.

It was a bad day...yesterday. I was angry with myself for not standing up. For letting people step over me and trash me down. I know that I'm really quiet and I tend to keep it all to myself, but that doesn't mean you can punch me and expect me to keep quiet. Yes, I suffer from anxiety which means that what normal people would do without thinking, I would do it hours later, after overthinking and analyzing everything three to six times.

They saw me at my weak point and I promised myself that wasn't going to happen again. My friends in class, I don't mind, but the teacher and the rest of the class, now that's a whole different story. Panic attacks are the worst and usually I'm able to control them, to stop them before they even start, but yesterday was not one of those time, for sure. I'm so mad at myself for not being able to overcome my anxiety, it's been too long and by now, I though it would've been gone.

So when she said what she said, God, I just couldn't contain it. I just wanted to punch her in the face with all my strength. Most people are just plain dumb and ignorant . She isn't even aware of how her words can affect someone else without her noticing. I still don't understand how can you joke about eating disorders? It's not right, it's not. And at that moment, all I could do was scream, at her, at everyone, because it's NOT freaking right!!!